I got some really good news the other day. A popular online magazine has asked me to be a contributor. At first, I was honored. My blog isn’t even on the radar but the editor-in-chief loved my articles. I’ll have the opportunity to speak on healing from abuse and divorce. So the opportunity to reach and help more women instantly appealed to me.
Then, it struck me:more people will know my story: that I’d been sexually abused since the age of five and worked as a stripper for five years. The thought frightened me and I considered declining the offer. I know it sounds strange; I do want to help women. But I wanted to do so while flying under the radar. I didn’t want my family and friends to know and I was afraid of outside criticism. It’s so much easier to share my story with survivors. I’ve seen how cruel some folk can be. I didn’t want to be the recipient of such cruelty.
My goal was to pursue it part-time, not allowing it touch and affect the other areas of my life. But that’s not how it works. When God gives you an assignment, he also opens doors and opportunities you would never imagine, increasing your stage, growing your audience. But I wasn’t stepping through those doors. As a matter of fact, I was closing and even bolting some of them shut. I was essentially saying, “Thanks but no thanks, G. I’m just gonna settle right here in mediocrity.”
As the challenges and drama of 2016 kept coming, it landed me in a situation I’d never experienced before. And I knew I didn’t want to remain there. While I was in it, I couldn’t understand why God saw fit to put me through it. I was doing what He called me to do. But obviously, that wasn’t enough. He wanted me to go deeper…and to do so unafraid. He knew taking everything away from me would stir the fight inside of me. And it worked. Now, I don’t care at all about other’s opinions and I’m unafraid.
2017 is going to be great.